It Wasn't the Mustache That Slowed Me Down

Regular followers of my blog will recall from five days ago that I have recently embarked on a regimen of eating only whole foods and minimal caffeine.  So far it has been going well and I actually feel great.  I am over the caffeine hump and have not had a wheat, corn, or potato based chip in two weeks.  I have only had one wheat based slice of bread in two weeks as well.  And believe it or not, I don't miss it at this point.  Americans don't know what the rest of the world has known for centuries; rice is king.  But the point of my blog is not to gloat about my new found organic lifestyle.  Although it is quite possibly true that I may become one of those douche bags you see roaming around in Whole Foods trying to decide about the ethics of eating a certain brand of cottage cheese that isn't sufficiently nurturing to it's cows.

But once again I find myself off topic.  Along with my new healthier eating habits I have also joined a new gym across the street from my office.   And I have begun to swim regularly again before work or during a long lunch break.  Some of my closer associates will recall that I used to participate (not compete so much) in triathlon events; swim, bike, and run.  Well, I never was a very good swimmer so inevitably I would be one of the last ones, of all age brackets, to emerge out of the water.  I was so bad, in fact, that several times Tammy thought I had drowned since most of the participants in the female 70-80 age group beat me to the start of the bicycle portion of the race.  This actually turned out to be quite motivating because I was so far behind that I became the one doing all the passing during the bike ride and run.

But being a poor swimmer in the training pool is one of the most demoralizing experiences in the amateur racing world.  If I am out on the road riding my bicycle and some guy dusts me I may never see him again once he rounds the next turn.  Same with running.  I get passed all the time and in a few minutes I never see the person again.  Not so in the swimming pool. In a 25 yard pool I may get lapped every fourth length by the same person.  And that person may very well be a 70 year old aquacizing in the adjacent lane.  So every few minutes I am reminded of how bad a swimmer I am.  And while my head is down in the water and my arms are flailing trying not to be lapped for the tenth time in a half mile swim, it appears as if the person passing me is going about as fast as Michael Phelps in the 50 meter free style.  Then while I am resting by the side of the pool watching their seemingly slow stroke rate, I am once again reminded of how inefficiently my arms and legs carry me through the water.

But swimming is the only cardio exercise you can do where you actually feel refreshed and immediately able to return to work. If I rode the stationary bike during lunch I would still be perspiring during my 3:00 pm root canal.  So I will continue to plug away in hopes of one day not being the last one out of the pool.

And that sharp mustache I am sporting in these pics?  Gone, along with any desire to ever actually look like a porn star from the 1980's.