Hunter Gatherer

According to the online retail site Sierra Trading Post, I have saved over $6539.00 to date.  This means I had to have spent something north of $10,000.00 at their online establishment.  Maybe more because I have actually visited their store in Cheyenne, Wyoming, when I happened to be driving by on my way to some outdoor adventure.  They didn't ask for my online user name and password when I purchased the $250.00 climbing boots (and a ton of other crap I am sure, but can't remember) so I assume I have saved even more.   I came up with the ten thousand dollar figure because I usually do not make a purchase until the price is discounted an extra 20-30 percent over their already discounted prices.  Of course I have returned many items where the color or size was "not as expected" so I assume these are not then deducted from my total savings number.  So maybe I have spent significantly less, I do not know nor do I really want to find out.

Of course my excuse is that all my purchases are utilitarian.  I do have a few tchotchke collections that once I started I felt I couldn't stop because if I were to be missing one crucial piece then the whole collection would have to be sold piecemeal on ebay at a terrible loss to my eventual heirs.  And by terrible loss I mean maybe thirty-nine dollars.  Here is an inventory of my prized collections:

1. Hallmark's Skys the Limit airplane Christmas ornaments 1997 through 2010, in progress
2. US Mint proof state quarters 1999 through 2008 complete
3. US Mint proof presidential dollars 2009 through present, in progress
4. US Mint proof America the beautiful quarters 2010 through present, in progress
5. USPS Nature of America Stamp sets 1999 through 2010, complete.
6. Miscellaneous interesting USPS commemorative stamp sheets such as the Classic Movie Monster series.

You can understand why I bought the coin sets.  They celebrate everything I love about America and they can also be used as actual currency if all else fails, thereby complying with my "I buy only useful items" rationale.  Same with the stamps.  Although  these would require an additional investment to put into use owing to the fact that the cost of a first class letter has gone up significantly since Frankenstein and Dracula  have been immortalized on a US postage stamp.  The airplane Christmas tree ornaments are, admittedly, strictly bling.  Once I bought the cool replica of the Wright Brother's first airplane I couldn't stop.  Every year I vow not to buy the next airplane in the series, and then I see it's the very cool Spirit of St Louis that Lindy flew to France (or was it England?) and I cave. 

So I do like to shop.  In a bricks and mortar store, online, or in a parking lot on the side of the road in Utah (where I scored a Native American sterling silver Kokopelli money clip for ten dollars).  What I don't like to do is browse.  That you see, is what women do.  In fact most men do indeed like to shop, well buy actually.  We just don't like to browse.  We know what we want.  For every guy that states he hates to shop I will show you a basement full of every power and hand tool imaginable, a drawer organizer filled with enough nuts, bolts, screws and cotter pins to repair a nuclear submarine,  a closet filled with golf clubs (titanium, carbon fiber, and alloy), a ball for every sport that involves a ball, sneakers for each of those sports, rackets and  assorted accessories for those sports, fishing and hunting gear, and enough logoed ball caps to outfit an entire African village.  Out in the garage there will be enough gas powered lawn tools and gasoline to generate electricity for that same village for three consecutive months.  And more likely than not there is a 1972 Dodge Charger in various stages of rehabilitation that by now has actually cost more than a 2011 Maserati.  If the guy likes to cook?  You can bet he has bought more garlic pressers, lemon zesters and power processors than his wife would have under the same circumstances.  So please guys, do not tell me you don't like to shop.

Admittedly most of the things men buy are utilitarian.  Women, on the other hand like objets d'art.  Although let's face it, they are really just objects d'clutter.  Miniature Dickens Christmas villages, Santas from around the world (all bought in Target no doubt), garden gnomes and bambis, those creepy faceless Willow Tree statuettes, and the "priceless", yet over priced, Precious Moments figurines.  Back in the nineteenth century Lewis and Clark referred to these items as gewgaws.  There wasn't an aboriginal tribe around that couldn't be bought off with a few carefully doled out tchotchkes. The men took the hatchets and coins while the women took the beads and baubles no doubt. 

Now in the twenty-first century hatchets have been replaced by iPhones and baubles by Dolce and Gabbana.
We might think we are the most highly advanced civilization ever but there really is no psychological difference between a rough hewn cabin trading post on the Oregon Trail and the internet based Amazon.com.  Only the highway has changed names.