The brand of choice for soccer moms and drug dealers alike

I have been officially living in New Jersey for 25 years. In that time I have utilized my snow sports equipment maybe an average of 3 days each winter. I have worn my Gore Tex ski pants out of necessity maybe 3 times total in the 9 years I have owned them (to shovel snow). I have needed my LL Bean snow boots an average of one day each winter in New Jersey. So when I bought the cabin in the Catskills I logically moved all my winter stuff to there. Boots, skis (x country and downhill), snow shoes, favorite hats and gloves, GoreTex pants, and favorite winter coats (I have many).

So what happens this winter? We get 54 inches of snow so far in South Jersey and, oh I don't know, 16 inches in the mountains of New York. I hate being unprepared so when I was forced to clear my driveway and sidewalk of 28 inches of snow wearing cotton jeans, fine leather driving gloves, cashmere over coat, and angora scarf, I was none too pleased. My consternation was overcome only by the fact that I looked good, which as we all know, trumps everything. In fact, even though I live by the golden rule of "The proper tool for the proper job", I also have always believed that "if you can't be good, then at least you should look good". Fortunately for me, Gore Tex apparel can now be worn while dining on Ramen noodles sitting on a log in the wilderness or eating negahamachi sushi rolls at Budakkhan in Philly.

Of course one man's dream is also another man's nightmare and in this case it is the same man, me. As loyal readers (and there are two of you) of this blog know I am fully married to the fact that outdoorsy is as outdoorsy does. If you have never slept in a sleeping bag, in the cold, in the rain, and out of cell range, then you should not sport The North Face logo on your woolie. The argument can be made, I suppose, that it is way more dicey to navigate your way down the street in the 'hood than to route find on Mt Hood, so kudos to the marketing gurus at The North Face and Timberland for cornering this market. I have never camped at Broad and Allegheny so I can't say one way or another which is more disconcerting; icy footing on a treacherous route over the bergschrund or icy stares from the dealers on the corner.

In any event, if you engage in behavior of a precarious nature, or perform any activity which can be classified as not driving your kids to soccer practice, then I suppose you can make an argument for the need to shop at REI. As for me, it is now apparent that I need two of everything.