Single Floor Living

There is something about single floor living.  Except for the apartments I lived in during my college and grad school years I have always lived in multi-floor dwellings.  And now I have noticed something about my morning behavior here at the cabin.  I am not quite sure if it is just the relaxed atmosphere or the fact that my bedroom is on the same level as the "activities" areas of the house.  When I am at home in New Jersey I always wash up and get dressed in street clothes prior to going downstairs and starting my day.  Even on weekends.  The order always is; pee, discuss possibility of morning sex,  wash face and hands, brush teeth (I floss at night), consider sex again, get dressed, agree to have sex later, go downstairs for breakfast.  I was never one to put on a robe and go about my morning business in flannels.

But at the cabin I always just casually wander about in my bed clothes whilst completing my morning routine.  Start the morning fire in my boxers, start the coffee in my boxers, go outside for some firewood in my boxers.  I eat breakfast in my boxers.  Only after we have decided on our days activities do I get dressed.  And I don't think it is just because the cabin  has a more relaxed feel.  When the bedroom is on the same floor as everything else there is no definitive delineation between sleeping and stirring.   Once downstairs, there is no turning back.  That's why the intimacy discussion has lost its sense of urgency.  What effort does it take to just wander back into the bedroom?  No effort at all, that's what.  That's why retired people buy ranchers.  Because by the time they climb back up the stairs they are too spent to do anything about it.

Finally, Someone Cares About My Opinion*

I recently wrote a letter to the editor of the Philadelphia Inquirer.  I was responding to the article linked if you click on the title above.  Of course it was an article about parks and recreation that got my attention.  Stick with what you know.  The letter, which was printed in today's Philly Inquirer, is below:


Park's pursuit of education.

Inga Saffron provides many insights into the design process of Independence Mall ("For tourists and city, not re-created equal," Sunday). I have been a frequent visitor to the historic district and I agree with Saffron's assessment regarding the ambience of the park and use by local residents. I disagree, however with her comparison to Millennium Park in Chicago. It would be more appropriate to compare Millennium Park to the Kelly and MLK Drive area of Fairmount Park. Philadelphians (and citizens from surrounding areas such as myself) adore this park every bit as much as Chicagoans adore their Millennium Park. Their purposes are similar, to provide open park space for outdoor recreating. The main purpose of the Independence Mall area is to educate, albeit in an outdoor park-like setting. Independence Mall, after all, is a national historical park, not a national recreation area. While it is true it should be physically inviting to locals, the site belongs to the citizens of the entire United States and must be treated as such.

Richard Feuer
Sewell     bytegently@verizon.net

Holiday Village, Not.

Merry Christmas to all my Christian friends.  I say it sincerely to my in laws, I say it sincerely to my patients, I say it sincerely to the cashier while I am out shopping.  When someone says it to me I say thank you or Merry Christmas in return.  I am not offended and I am happy that this joyous holiday exists for them.  We all need more love and understanding in our lives and the message at Christmas mass (yes, I go) is to maintain the spirit of giving and peace throughout the whole year.  Who could argue with that?  I don't think I have always felt this way (aren't most young people rather militant in their philosophical outlook?) and if I had not married into a Catholic family I don't know if I would have arrived at the same place in my outlook.  But the first step in understanding others is to understand ourselves.


While I do cringe when I read about things like removing the word Christmas  from the "Christmas Village"
or PCing the season down to "Happy Holidays" I understand the intent.  It is to be more inclusive.  We do pride ourselves, after all, on being a multicultural society.  So if Christians feel like there is a frontal assault on their holiday, or take it as a personal insult of their right to express their joy at the birth of Christ, when someone pushes back against the relentless onslaught of the "Christian Right Wing" movement in America, I wish they would realize several things.  First, and most importantly, this struggle is not new in America.  The dialogue about the role of religion in American public life has been raging since before the Constitution, thus the honor of being mentioned in the first amendment.  Secondly, the obvious assuming attitude many devout people feel toward those who might not adhere to a Western religious view of the world can seem judgmental and even hurtful.  It is possible to be a good person without believing in a God who is specifically concerned with the affairs of man (credit to Albert Einstein).  Thirdly, no one can deny the fact that Christmas has become more of a commercial retail onslaught than a season of spirituality and Light.  That is why retailers dropped Christmas from their stores and circulars.  They want to encourage all Americans to spend money on their goods.

So I agree with the bumper stickers.  Let's keep "Christ" in Christmas and remember His was a message of tolerance and peace, and not one of feverish excess.

Only an Octopus Could Love It.

So this is the season of the office Christmas Party buffet dinner.  Buffets, of course, are not unique to office Christmas parties but they are the go to framework for galas on the cheap.  From VFW hall weddings to corporate celebrations the omission of a solicitous wait staff is the way to save money.  Don't get me wrong.  I love the idea of being able to pile on as much of and what of I want.  It is the logistics of the affair that causes me great consternation.  Now I am not talking about a restaurant that serves buffet style.  At these places one typically goes to the spread at their own leisure.  You can go as many times as you wish and the line usually moves very rapidly.

But at special occasion buffets an insidious form of facism seems to take over the whole progress of the meal.  First, and most troubling, is the idea that one cannot even venture to the food spread until your table has been called.  And I have found that the process in which it is decided which tables go first is of such a highly sensitive and secretive  nature that not even the most astute observer can figure it out.  Otherwise I would most certainly fight my way into table number one whether or not I am actually a first order relation to the bride.

And if one is lucky enough to be seated at the first tier of tables, you are done with your meal way before the last tables have been allowed to access their food.  This, of course leads to the inconvience of having to wait for an auspicious time to approach for seconds.  Believe me, the second round of potatoes au gratin is not worth the icy stares you get from butting in line before some of the guests have even had their first bite of a roll.

The idea of going up twice before all the guests have had one chance at the line brings me to the most insufferable pitfall of the buffet style meal.  The fact that I have to balance my entree, salad, and dinner roll simultaneously ruins even the most lavish of fetes.  I have a suggestion for all future buffet hosts.  Have the salad and dinner roll already at the setting of each guest as they arrive in the dining room.  This will serve three puposes.  One, the guests will have something to eat while they are awaiting their turn and thus significantly reduce their agitation due to low blood sugar.  Two, since it is standard practice to eat the salad prior to the entree, the food will not get cold while the salad is consummed, and three, there is never enough room in front of you to place the dinner and salad plate so all the jockeying for table space will be eliminated for you and your table mates. 

Finally there is the dessert issue.  There is something inherently distasteful with eating chicken marsala while the guests at the table to your immediate right are busy tearing into their raspberry cheesecake and coffee.  And when you finally do get called to the dessert table there is no raspberry cheesecake left for you anyway.  Then you are left standing there while the white gloved ersatz steward retreats to the kitchen in a feigned attempt to deliver said promised dessert.

12/21/2010
This just in, another reason to dislike buffets:
Plan to Poison Buffets Uncovered

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Since I will not be going up to my cabin for the entire month of December I have been forced to score my weekly dose of therapy by other means.  To that end I am currently reading a self help book on how to stop worrying.  While I would not go so far as to say I have GAD (a diagnosis with its own ICD code)  I have always considered myself a worrier.  And after reading this book I have been left with absolutely no wiggle room to escape this disconcerting conclusion.  One of the signs of being a chronic worrier is that fretters are actually not anxious about the major catastrophes like terrorist attacks, earthquakes, falling off a cliff while climbing, or drowning during the swim leg of a triathlon. But rather things like the trash men maybe not emptying the trash can since your wife overloaded it and it weighs 51 pounds, or your dental practice will fail if patients have to wait more than ten minutes for their appointment, or maybe the fact that you won't be able to have cereal for breakfast if your wife doesn't immediately go to the store to restock the milk.  I, in fact, have always worn my "I DO sweat the small stuff" attitude as a badge of honor.  This is not a new revelation as I have previously  covered the topic in my "What if" discussion groups of mid 2010.  And by discussion groups I mean the stony silence that usually follows what I consider to be my very insightful blog posts.

This is not the first self help book I have read.  And it has been my experience that unless one is born naturally content, becoming well adjusted is not an end point.  It is, in fact, a never ending struggle to overcome your own intractable nature.  Drugs help for a while as they combat the chemical source of your malcontentment.  But stop taking them and your worries are back.  They have therefore not cured anything; they have just made you dependent on drugs (disclaimer for the NJ State Dental Board; I am not now, nor have I ever been on antipsychotic medication).  And reading one book on "The women who love men and the men who hit them back" is not going to stop you from being attracted to bad boys.  Most people who are trying to improve their outlook on life never stop with one or two books.  They must constantly return to the self help section for the newest fad in self actualization.

And the reason is quite simple.  Every self help book begins with the same basic assumption;  the world is not going to change so you have to change the way in which you react to it.  Well I immediately reject this concept.  All of the Ph.D. authors are well aware of the fact that it is almost impossible to change one's basic nature, yet they expect you to change just from reading their book.  Every one of these books acknowledges that yes, life is very unfair.  Even religion offers no immediate solution as their ultimate answer to life's hardships is paradise only in death.  Turn the other cheek is the best advice they can offer here on Earth.  And that is why melancholy people will always be melancholy.  Because one can work and work and work at being well adjusted but after the dopamine  built up from reading a meaningful book has dissipated, the possibility still remains that your cat will topple the Christmas tree and start a fire while you're  at work.

"I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude."(Thoreau)

I recently started a business Facebook page for my dental office.
So I now basically have six online venues which I can ignore, especially while I am up here at the cabin: personal Facebook page, business Facebook page, blog, website, and e-mail (personal and work).
If I have left anything out, let me know. While I bought the cabin to inspire and energize me it has had the opposite effect (see blog entry "My Favorite Law").  All I want to do is either stare out at the stream or go hiking.   It's as if I become Henry David Thoreau minus the talent, intellectual curiosity, and calmness.  OK, sure I sometimes sit and stare at my laptop screen trying desperately to tap out a few words which will amuse someone in the blogosphere, but my overall level of commitment is "manana"  (I see there is a tilda key on my keyboard but it just does this;~).  It's not such a bad thing, contemplating nature while trying to ignore the greater world.  In fact, I think trying to always capture one's thoughts might detract from the overall "being in the moment" experience.  I found the same to be true of travel photography.  Sometimes the adventures became diluted in my zeal to "capture the moment" for later bragging rights.  It's true, life is about the trip, not the movie rights.

Guest Blog; A Feline Atonement

"Jail sucks"

I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.
I promise not to bite people even if they are sitting in my spot.

My Favorite Law

Helloooooo... Is anybody still out there?  I'm baaaaaack.  Maybe I will just try a "thought for the day" type of blog.  Short, sweet, and hopefully insightful.

One of my favorite laws is the Law of Unintended Consequences.  Not even the most well thought out process is immune from it.  And it is really the first law (well, maybe second, after the law of gravity), to make its mark in the world.  Think about this;  God creates a utopian world in seven days. He then sets up Adam and Eve in this Garden of Eden. Then, believing they can be good stewards, he grants them free will . And what happens on day nine, maybe ten?  They mismanage it.  In one bite, God's utopian paradise is irrevocably screwed up. If that is not the law of unintended consequences in action then I don't know what is.  What, he didn't see that coming from a mile away?  Apparently, no one is immune from it.