Remember Me?

I have a grand total of 32 Facebook friends after 3 1/2  years of my internet presence.  And most of those are members of  my own family whom, according to the old adage, you can't choose anyway.  When I randomly browse other people's Facebook walls (i.e. friends of friends) I am often despondently interested in how many friends they have accumulated.  This number, in fact, is the most easily accessible statistic in all of Facebook and perhaps most of the web.  It is displayed prominently, in bold typeface, to the left side on everyone's wall.  From my superficial psychological profile of Mark Zuckerburg, after having seen "The Social Network", I assume he places entirely too much weight on quantity, not quality of aquaintanceships.  Though, in acknowledgment of recent friend category options on Facebook, they finally did realize that all friends are not created equal.  Perhaps this is a sign of maturity that comes with age.  And I realize that  Mark is growing up so cudos for that upgrade.  Facebook was originally focused solely on college social networks so I suppose that everyone who came to your frat house kegger is to be considered an "A-list" friend.

Which is my primary issue with Facebook.  I don't want, nor solicit, a lot of "B" and "C" listers.  So I only have myself to blame for my low number.  This is difficult for me to admit on the World Wide Web of human social discourse but I have actually rejected many friend requests.  So when I ask my wife "how come I don't have more friends", she is entirely unsympathetic.  In order to make a friend, you have to be a friend, she not so gently admonishes me.  But that's just it.  One does not make friends on Facebook.  Or perhaps I am just behind the times.  Maybe friends of friends see a post and they say " Man, I have to become friends with that guy.  He is doing some very cool stuff and we have a lot in common".  Then two weeks later it's a night out at the bar and two weeks after that it's backpacking through Southeast Asia together.  I don't know.  But it is my guess that out of 400 Facebook friends, perhaps 20 comment regularly on your wall.  The rest are strictly voyeurs.  But I really have no idea since these numbers are based on absolutely nothing but my own envious disposition.

One of my Facebook buddies, who shall remain anonymous, is currently living, eating, and crowing about living abroad.  His escapades seem to get a lot of attention , but out of 400 or so Facebook "amis" I wonder how many are actually doing the commenting and what level of Facebook friend they represent.  I imagine it is possible that the other 380 friends follow along in mute jealousy.  He knows who he is so I am hoping he will do the research and get back to me.  With a private e-mail of course so as not to reveal the source.

I try to be a good Facebook buddy myself and pay attention to what others are doing but whenever I post a comment the outcome is usually a sarcastic and caustic attempt at humor.  So only those who really know me see the intended bonhomie of my posts....and this blog for that matter.  That is why in the past I have been very judicious about whom (who?) I allow in.  But if I do send out a friend request it always is accompanied by a personal note recounting some high school or college escapade such as; "Hey dude.  I haven't seen you since you threw up in that girls purse at the Psi Omega Buffalo Punch party in 1981.  I see you married that chick.  Sweet!!".  So I don't always understand why I get friend requests from someone I have not seen in 25 years and the invitation is accompanied by a frigid silence.  Throw me a bone at least.  Something like; "Hey Rich, how ya been?  I haven't seen you since you went crying to the nurses office after I nailed your face in that dodgeball game".  A humorous anecdote, no matter how lugubrious, always breaks the ice after a 25 year social hiatus.

Do not click.  Not a real like button.
(Facebook link is  located on the right side of the posts).

So don't be afraid to friend request me. Just be prepared to provide a reason.  And definitely like my blog on your Facebook page.  If I don't let you be my friend on Facebook that doesn't mean you can't read my blog.  That's what friends are for.