Giant Ledge Redux

In case any one cares (and they should not) I spent my first weekend alone in the cabin. Not the whole weekend, seeing as it was Easter and I had to return home early Sunday for Easter dinner. The cabin is a sweet gig under any circumstances, but let's face it, even a curmudgeon like me needs company.

I have never been especially close to the people in my southern New Jersey neighborhoods (apart from social acquaintances) even though I have had an active social life there. But here in the Catskills I have very quickly become friends with my neighbor across the street. We have cut down a tree together (it fell across the stream), and he has been very helpful to me in getting to know the people and the procedures for living in the mountains. New Yorkers don't necessarily have to be nice they just have to be right, and that suits my personality fine . He is opinionated, but not easily offended, he smokes cigars, drinks beer, fishes, hunts, cusses, and most importantly, he watches out for Tammy, me, and the cabin because he respects us. He also loves living in Woodland Valley as he is a life long resident. On Friday night he invited me to dinner out at a local tavern with his wife and cousin and he treated. It is the first time in my life I can say I am true friends with my neighbor and I am enjoying the feeling.

Which brings me around to why I am alone this weekend. It has to do with lifelong friendships. Who are our closest friends? Those people we always feel comfortable with in spite of long distances, occasional hurt feelings, and the separation that growing older tends to enforce. Our best friends are always those people with whom we go through a rite of passage. High school friends, college buddies, people with whom we raised our children together, a person with whom we summited a mountain. Someone who was with us when the chips were down and the bullets were flying. Only then can we really know a person. Most other people we meet in our day to day lives are B list friends or C list. Think about it. I bet all your A list friends (you are lucky if you have more than one) are the ones with whom you went through some personal growth phase.

Tammy decided to attend the birthday party, which was 2-1/2 hours away, of her best high school friend. Even though I also have known this person a long time we never knew each other except through Tammy. So through all the years of separate lives and the not unusual spousal clash, I never developed the same sense of loyalty as Tammy. Granted, I should have gone to accompany my wife, but I think she had a better time without me due to my prickly opinions about the nature of friendships. I went to the cabin alone to do some maintenance work.

By the way, I took a hike and made it to Giant Ledge this time. It was a very rewarding hike but made a little less so by the absence of my partner.