L'Affaire Lance

I remember standing near the finish line at the CoreStates Bicycle Race in Philadelphia in 1998 and saying to Tammy, "He's done.  That's a shame".  I was talking about Lance Armstrong's career.  He finished a disappointing 33rd after his 1996 fight with testicular cancer.  But at least George Hincapie, Lance's friend and USPS team mate, won the race.  Then several years later after reading Lance's autobiography I realized the error in my denouncement of his future career.  After battling advanced testicular cancer he viewed his 33rd place finish in this grueling one day bicycle race as an unbelievably positive accomplishment. And thus did Lance tip my always ambivalent feelings for him back into the positive column.  You see, I have been loosely following his career since he was a young, up and coming triathlete so the depth of his hubris and arrogance has never been a shock to me.  Disbelief and shock were not two of the emotions I felt watching him haltingly try to come clean about his behavior to Oprah.  Nor did I feel any sense of relief that finally he will reap what he has sown.  I only felt resignation and sadness at yet another example of the havoc and calamity that testosterone spews into our world.  Which in Lance's case, is truly ironic.

I am in no way justifying his behavior, I am only trying to shed light on why it should not be shocking.  If he is guilty of anything, it is taking alpha male ruthlessness to a new level of vindictiveness.  In my view, his behavior is only one extreme of that which has been exhibited by many alpha males before him.  The entire Penn State Football leadership team comes to mind.  As Lance stated in the confessional that is Oprah, protecting the kingdom rises above all other concerns.  Whether they be fellow athletes or ten year old boys their sacrifice is of no great concern if the empire is to be protected.  College football coaches, and petty despots alike have the ability to separate their actions from themselves.  There is a disconnect between the id and super ego in their minds (look it up).  While watching Lance try to answer Oprah's questions I was struck by his seeming inability to understand how his standing as team leader could cause the other cyclists to feel they had no choice but to dope if they wanted to remain on the team.  "I gave them no direct verbal order" he protested when pushed.

It would be nice to say it's only about a bunch of guys riding bicycles.  Or about a bunch of guys hitting a ball with a bat.  Who really cares if they cheat themselves and their fellow players?  That is indeed true, but especially in the case of Lance Armstrong, the repercussions of his behavior have reached far beyond his bicycle seat.  What he did was despicable yet he is the only athlete I ever truly admired and followed.  The reason for this is that I never deluded myself about him.  I always knew he at least used EPO.  I always knew he was an SOB to those who dare oppose him.  But there were other aspects to his story with which I identified.  He was a high school sports team outcast and he found solace on a bicycle.  His story is very complex and it goes beyond "can you believe this guy?"  I never give racketeers any slack for their crimes but in Lance's case I am more saddened than outraged.