It Was Just a Joke........Not.

If the fact that Mitt Romney tortured a kid in high school doesn't totally vindicate me for my obsession with high school, then nothing will.  Regular readers of this blog will remember that I have written several screeds on bullying, high school cliques, and the fact that adult life is but a pale extension of the high school pecking order.

I am sorry to have to inform my friends across the isle, but holding down another kid and cutting off his hair while he screams for help and cries is not a high school prank taken to the edge.  The behavior puts one well off the side of the cliff.  Even judged by the more lax understanding of bullying and high jinks that marked the era in which the baby boomers grew up, the mindset that would allow one to perpetrate this "prank" demonstrates such a massive lack of empathy for the "others" that it borders on pathological narcissistic syndrome. Of course the idea of a presidential candidate being highly narcissistic is not a revolutionary concept but one needs to at least be capable of empathy.  Until I read about this latest personality quirk of Romney's, I thought the dog on top of the car incident was nothing but a humorous anecdote about a stressed out father trying to make it all work out.  Now I am not so sure.

Being a relentless "practical joker" is nothing but a form of dominance along the bullying spectrum scale.  Exactly like the autism scale.  We might say "Oh, he's just a practical joker", much like we would say "Oh, he's just a weird kid", but we all know there is trouble lurking beneath the surface.  If you think I am being overly dramatic, think about tickling someone past the point of pleasure until they are begging for mercy.  That behavior, all psychologists agree, is bullying pure and simple.  As is relentless practical joking that demeans the victim for being "different". 

The bullying incident happened almost 50 years ago, so the details are obviously questionable. But Romney did not specifically deny the circumstances.  He proffered a lame apology and his supporters chalked it up to his "jokey" nature.  Apparently the poor kid was singled out because young Mitt didn't feel any one should be walking around with that hair.  Many boys, myself included, who grew up in the 60's and 70's would have to admit to the liberal use of such barbs as fag, douchebag, gay blade, and other assorted verbal grenades that would not be considered PC in today's high school hallways.  And perhaps a wedgie, or a rat tail towel fight was perpetrated against the less athletic of us in the boys locker room.  But holding down a classmate and cutting off his hair crosses the line, in my view, to assault and battery.

Perhaps I am less likely to forgive Mitt Romney because he is a Republican who is pandering to the Tea Party.  I would have to agree with that assessment. It has always been my feeling that the Tea Party should more accurately be called the Me Party.  I can't help but feel that Libertarians and extreme Tea Partyers lack a certain sense of empathy for the "others".  Sam Harris, in his book  Free Will describes a similar sentiment toward conservatives.  They don't seem to have an understanding that not every one is capable of being like them.  Some of us are different and some of us will need help that only a compassionate society can provide.

A person's behavior may evolve and mature over time but rarely do basic personality types shift.  A bully may change his behavior from physical attacks to strong arm tactics in the boardroom, but both behaviors are bullying none the less.