She Bang

It has often been noted that political women have a twofold burden when in the public eye.  Not only must they be quick witted, but they have to look good doing it.  Men, it is often lamented, do not have to live up to this double standard.  Well even the most apathetic student of evolutionary psychology will come to learn the fallacy of this argument in the first year of his studies.  It is a well known paradigm that women are attracted to virile behaviors [in men] such as an ability to kill and skin a bear in the wild or the resources to make a lot of money during a bear market on Wall Street.  Men, on the other hand, are attracted to physical attributes such as nice skin and large breasts.  It is a self evident truth [in light of advances in dermatology, plastic surgery, and Lasix] that it may indeed be more convenient to change one's superficial looks than to reconfigure one's masculinity.  You will therefore forgive me for limiting my remarks to Michele Bachman and Sarah Palin as I see no hope for Newt Gingrich and Jon Huntsman.  Rick Perry and Mitt Romney can obviously kick the shit out of them so all they have to do is have a rutting match to lock up the female Republican vote.  No one seriously doubts that the Ann Coulter Pod People care for much else.

So what does Sarah have that Michele does not?  Bangs of course.  If you have a forehead that only an extraterrestrial could love then I suggest it should be hidden behind some hair.  A very facile and effective grooming approach that I am quite certain will soften Michele up a bit.  Her inscience won't play too well outside of Iowa so perhaps her coiffure can.  Conservative women, after all, are more pretty than pedantic.  If you don't believe me I suggest you compare and contrast the women of Fox News to the lineup over at PBS or MSNBC.  OK, perhaps Rachel Maddow is sensual in a sexy butchy sort of way but Fox has the 18-55 male demographic tied up with Jenna Lee and Courtney Friel. 

We should not apologize for our licentious feelings as they are just that, feelings.  Both men and women have them.  But we can rise above them.