I also own a lot of hats. Western, outback, fedora, Panama, wool felt, fur felt, straw, waxed cotton, Tilley, Bailey, Stetson, Akubra, and even one made of buffalo fur and leather. I have loved hats ever since I can remember. In grade school I saved up my money to buy one of those Cuban Revolutionary's caps that Fidel always wears. It was the sixties and Che Guevara was a household name in liberal New York Jewish households. I feel it necessary to state at this point that I am not, nor have I ever been, a member of the communist party. In fact I generally have no pity for the working class of which I include myself. Though I don't think Wisconsin should take away the collective bargaining rights of it's civil employees. But did you know it was just the right to arbitrate for their benefits? They could still collectively bargain for their base salaries. But I digress.
I long for the days when men, no matter what activity they were engaged in, wore fedora fur felt hats. I find myself drawn to those old photos of the Atlantic City Boardwalk, or the pictures of food lines in the 1930's when all the men, no matter how down and out, were wearing natty chapeaus. A smartly tilted hat will make even the most hapless fellow seem a bon vivant. In fact it has always been my motto that "If you don't know what you are doing, look good doing it". And please, do not mistake my enthusiasm for a stylish hat as an implicit approval of wearing baseball caps for any purpose other than catching baseballs. Perhaps a John Deere baseball cap would be okay for a farmer out tilling the fields but a broad brimmed straw hat would set him apart from his fellow toilers and do a better job of protecting his head, face, and neck from a nasty carcinoma.

I've noticed another thing. It has become fashionable to post a life's worth of pictures at a viewing for the deceased. When the eight people present at my funeral stand there admiring my life well lived I want them to say to themselves "Damn, I need me a hat like that".